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#41 with Lyrics

Another rant while I am at it...

Posted on 2005.12.16 at 11:10
Why do people act like eating disorders are a choice and that we can just start eating, or just stop barfing? THEN people will talk about weight, food, whatever right in front of an ED-ed person. Fuck, it's like bringing a beer to someone in AA. Assholes, alcoholism is a disease just like an eating disorder. We suffer from a dependency as much as an alcoholic...

FUCK I hate ignorance.

Damn, genius, I never thought that I should just eat a sandwich! OH! Wow, can I get your autograph, Einstein??
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ellefino
[info]ellefino at 2005-12-17 20:25 (UTC) (Link)
Hey,

Sorry I haven't replied to your comment way back in November. The mental health problems have stuck around and I go through bouts of depression where I can't even bear to answer the phone, never mind log on. I do think about you from time to time and have wished you well. I'm not sure where you are with recovery. If you're still giving it a go, good for you. If not, I'd love a friend to thinspire me! I'm fat now and can't bear it. Have about 20lbs to lose before I'm even close to being where I want to be. I agree that xmas is the wrong time to start though so I'm restricting a little and trying to keep the cals low even though I'm going to a ton of parties/dinners/potlucks. I've actually lost a pound or two in the last week but that's only due to my 2+ hours at the gym each day. I WILL be logging on daily over the holidays to get back into the swing of things. Let me know where you are in your head with your ed.

elle
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crystal_clear13
[info]crystal_clear13 at 2005-12-19 15:51 (UTC) (Link)
I am in remission of both the full-blown ED and recovery. I am SO looking forward to January. I want to be 99 pounds by May-- which I already know will look awful on my tall frame but I want it desperately. I am not sure how much that is to lose, but I would bet around 20-25 as well. I am thinking about buying a treadmill-- that's my problem now. I don't have access to a free gym anymore. My doctor even suggested I start working out to get through this (he thinks I am actively recovering). Do you take antidepressants? I am currently on Paxil CR (so I don't gain weight) and Xanax. The Xanax helps a lot with the anxiety when eating in public.
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ellefino
[info]ellefino at 2005-12-19 16:14 (UTC) (Link)
I am not yet on antidepressants. I've been too worried about gaining weight if I go on them. I still toying with the idea and am going to see where I stand in January and if I think I need them. I worry that if I start to feel better competely (no anxiety) that I won't want to restrict or I'll talk myself into thinking a normal BMI is okay. I'd like to lose 20-25 pounds by the middle of March.
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crystal_clear13
[info]crystal_clear13 at 2005-12-20 15:43 (UTC) (Link)
I can understand. I am still at an underweight BMI, but I am no longer an anorexic BMI, which is kind of disappointing. I don't understand why I am fixated on being 99/100 pounds now-- and I'm 5'9". I am intelligent-- I know that will look gross, but I don't care. I am so happy the Paxil CR doesn't make me lethargic or more hungry-- that's why it's often prescribed to us so we don't stop taking them. They've helped me because I don't think about suicide like I did before.

Let's start working together on the 20 pounds soon. Happy Holidays!
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